So my ex and I were together for two years. We lived together for a year and a half. We almost died in a car accident together and took care of one another. He has been my best friend. I love him so much, but here's the thing. He's called me a slut multiple times because I slept around in my past. He hates my family, he isolated me from everyone, he was emotionally abusive and made me feel less than. He called me a dumbass, he broke promises, and our sex life was far from perfect. I broke up with him 2 days ago and I just feel so empty. We spent every day together for two years. He was the only person that I was completely comfortable being myself with. He is my first love and I know that's blinding me. He said and did terrible things but for some reason I can't hate him, I just want him back. I know that it's a terrible relationship. I KNOW this, but my heart is aching so much. I feel like I can't breathe. Everything reminds me of him, it's killing me. I just want to go running back to him. I need strength. I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to. I'm alone.