Getting fixed. And a whole lot more!

So today I was speaking with my husband about getting fixed. Both of us. I would like to have him snipped before the baby comes but he wants me to go get my tube done first. My thing is that I don't want to get my rubes tied as so many people have been having issues with it. So when I got to my appointment on Thursday (September 1st) I am going to ask my obgyn if she would send me in for a hysterectomy after my 6 weeks after giving birth. Then if I am able to get an answer from her then I am hoping that my husband will make appointment so he can recover from his surgery and then I can go in for mine and I will be able to recover from mine.

I may be turning 29 in 2 months but I have had 9 pregnancies but 6 (3 girls and 3 boys) full term babies. My body has had enough. I have a damaged nerve in my lower back from each and every single pregnancy that has got worse each and every time. Sadly I didn't get the epidural throughout ANY deliveries. I now have to take perks just in order for me to get out of bed and I just don't want my baby addicted to that shit.

My husband has 5 daughters and I am carrying his first born son he will be 48 in 2 months.

I want to focus on us and try and gain our relationship back that we use to have. Now we hardly do anything together. I mean take for tonight.

He went and shaved (I love me a smooth body, face and down below on my husband) cut his nails, filed them, trimmed his nose hairs, eye brows and even got me to trim his ear hair! I can't shave as I can't see and I run out of breath on even attempting. Needless to say let's face it no man wants a mouth full of hair while he munching out. (Last time I actually shave was 2 1/2 weeks ago and I cut my belly as I couldn't see). So anyways I told him I would be able to hold my weight while going down on him (I feel like a beached whale and I'm 200 lbs when being NOT pregnant I'm 120-130) so I went and did my thing on him until my jaw locked and my shoulder gave out and couldn't hold myself up. He didn't seem impressed at all and then he moved down and started on me. Well that didn't last too long he played more so with his fingers than anything.

I get it I'm 35 weeks and 3 days things can be different. But he knows I've been feeling like shit so for me to even giving him head let alone sex he should be very much appreciated for it. But is it becuz he can't look up at me and see my face. Or was it our conversation about getting fixed?

His past life he was with woman who were fixed before we got together he was a huge whore (tattoo artist) trying to get who he could pregnant. I was one of those people he tattooed and I ended up being his baby mama and we got married. I know bad right. But if I go get fixed first and then he ends up leaving me then runs off and makes a whole new family? Ugh I just don't know anymore. I have at least 11 weeks before the healing of the baby after delivery which is actually shorter as I only have 32 days left when I'm legit 40 weeks but being induced at 38 weeks so I only have 19 days left per say. Ugh I don't know what to do.

But one thing I do know is that after this baby I want us to focus on us again start going on dares rekindle what we use to have. I stead of what we have now which is nothing :(