Gender fears

12 weeks now & such a long way off to the gender scan but I'm overwhelmed with worries about gender. I'm desperate for a girl, it's so important to me to have a daughter in my life. I just can't see myself with a son. I'm worried I won't bond & will feel jealous/ ashamed around women with girls, feeling like they're so lucky & smug. Everyone says 'I don't mind, as long as it's healthy' I've even said it myself, but it's just not true - I don't believe quite so many people honestly feel like that. I'm tired of this taboo that you can't admit to wanting one over the other.