How to respect husband's decision?

Question

To all the married women...how do you respect your husband's decision when you know he's not making the best decision? Sometimes my husband complains about me overstepping him, talking too much, etc when it comes to us making decisions about anything. Instead of listening to my viewpoints, he thinks he knows it all b/c of what he has heard from others who have actually experienced what we're trying to do. And a lot of times , I'll find out later that he went to his dad and asked for his opinion instead of considering what I know and how I feel. I want to allow him to be the man of the household, but its hard when I'm used to being independent and dominant in my decision making. We've only been married for a few months and I don't want to make him feel like less of a man or stupid because his decisions and viewpoints on a lot of things always seems dumb or not the best to make..any advice? How do you all deal with your SO?

Answer

Me and my husband have an agreement that any decisions we make are joint, and that if we can't agree then we compromise. For example my husband doesn't like the dog in the bed because it gets hairy, so we agree he doesn't get in the bed until it's 2 days before we wash the bedding, that way it's not going to get overly hairy and I still get some cuddles in. And to be honest now it's rare I even want him in bed, I didn't realize how much he disturbed my sleep until he was in his own bed haha! (By him I mean the dog not my husband :P) use logic and reason, and research whatever you disagree on. Sometimes my husband can be very heavily influenced by what his mum says which I only don't like when she is wrong, but he will come around when I show him the proof of what is correct. You can't argue with facts.

Answer

I started saying do what you want I obviously know nothing. And then when I turned out to be right I called him out on it. I think it finally clicked that maybe I do know what I am talking about.  Still a work in progress since he is stubborn, but doing a lot better. We talk things out, as well as talk to our parents, and to others who have experienced the same thing.

Answer

It's pretty easy actually..I'm right and he's not! Lol really though, I being facts and numbers to the table about everything

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Husband does this to me all the time w his mom. If he has something going on  like a headache or toothache  or stomach issue, I will buy him stuff, stuff I kno will help, yet he always calls her to ask her if what I bought is safe or what to use. I have a degree in biochemistry and I am literate, I'm pretty sure I can help him with minor little aches and pains lol other financial things too, he'll send his mom money to hold for him  instead of asking me to watch over it, I gave up trying to figure out why lol

Answer

My husband and I struggled with this a little bit in the beginning, I don't make as much money as he does so he really does support us and having been so independent before I found this very frustrating. Unfortunately, we had to make the decision to end a pregnancy this year due to a fatal diagnosis. We were so on the same page, held each other through all the tough bits. Sometimes you have to remember what's important and what isn't. If it's not an important issue, let him do whatever he wants. If it is an important issue then you need to make the decision together, you will become resentful if he doesn't listen. You need to have a conversation about this. Sit him down at a neutral time, not when a decision is being made, and talk to him about it.

Answer

Trust me gi it is a slow learning process! I am still dealing with it.We have been married a little over a year now and it's still hard for me to just let him make the decision. But he will feel so much more respected by you if you just trust his descion and him even if the outcome is bad you really have to support him and not say things like "I told you so" "You should have listened to me".

Answer

We are starting couples counseling but I can't tell u if it helped bc we just started..

Answer

I always tell mine this when I'm in that situation : "I don't agree with you but I support your choice. Do I think it's the best choice, no but I'm with you if that's what you decide" my hubby and I don't always see eye to eye but he always asks me what I think he should do. Even if he doesn't take my advice he considers it. I know exactly where you're coming from I was ms independent for the longest time and I still am but as a pair, you both need to be together on decision making regardless of if he takes advice or you take his. You're a unit now, and I would sit down and talk to him about it and let him know how you feel and see if you two can't reach some sort of agreement like when he makes a decision, he comes to you first and talks to you about it and get your opinion and advice before continuing to his dad for it

Answer

My husband and I have been married 15 yrs and from the beginning we have had an agreement that all big purchases or big decisions are made with both of us in agreement there is no compromising it has to be full agreement. He learned his lesson hard the other month when he made a purchase for the first time that I didn't approve of. We are a family very much into collecting guns and he made an online purchase of one that I never would have because it just didn't seem right. When he picked it up from his FFL dealer the gun was a piece of shit and needed lots of work that was not listed. He took it to his gunsmith to have it fixed and it cost him more then buying the gun did. Because I didn't agree with the purchase and he basically bought a piece of junk instead of allowing to take money out of our income to have the gun fixed I made him sell one of his other guns to pay for it...lol

Answer

We've agreed that my husband gets final say but when I have points to make on it he has to listen to them. He can still do what he wants to but he has to hear my voice as well. There aren't a lot of things that I don't agree with him on but he also was the one making decisions on his own meanwhile I still lived with family so he has more experience in these matters than I do haha.

How to respect husband's decision?

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