I am 9w3d pregnant for my 4th child and I'm sooooo confused and lost. Please no negative comments, if you have anytging negative to say please just keep it to yourself. Let me start out by saying that I have Never believed in abortion and I've always believed that if you're grown enough to have sex then you're grown enough to deal with pregnancy as nothing is 100%.

However, I am 30 with 3 kids and my husband and I have been separated physically, mentally and emotionally for over a year although we still live with each other because I'm a Sah mom. I was seeing someone a few months ago, obviously having sex, and ended up pregnant. I don't want a kid with this guy, it was just fun between me and him nothing emotionally serious. My husband wants to work things out and me to lie and say the baby is his. I don't want another tie to him, I don't want to lie to everyone and my child the rest of my life as I don't even believe in small lies. I don't want to be with him. I'm in the middle of starting my own business and I have an opportunity possibly to buy a house and move out, but the house is small as hell and would barely squeeze me and my 3 kids let alone another one. I don't really want to start all over again since I have been working towards doing what I can for me and my 3 kids. I have an appt set up for in a week for an abortion but I'm just not sure cuz I feel like that is killing my child since that's what I've always believed. But I also could never give my child up for adoption. I just don't want to do it all over again but this time by myself. I want to cry when I think about having an abortion and I want to cry when I think of not having one. Any positive advice would be helpful. Again no bashing or rudeness please.