I have been ttc for 2.5 years now... And this month I swear was gonna be our month ..but instead I'm just confused and more angry at my body then ever before. I am a 30 day cycle maybe early or late by 1 or 2 days. Whenever I get my pre af cramps my af is sure to follow by minuets or already be there. On the day I was due for af I got a bfn and then went to work my night shift. Around 5 am I had my pre af cramps and figured I was out and went to go put a tampon in but there was nothing. The cramps came and went for four days now .. Never more then mild. I took 3 tests between those days and all bfns. I just took a test this morning and another bfn and I started to spot when I wiped. I did a check and thetss a mix of brown and red blood but really far up not even a flow is happening. So as far as I see I am out and this is my late af. But it's so hard to accept that you know ? Qhwn you try so hard every month and see all these woman some who should be allowed to have children get pregnant. And you go through this linvl of what if... And you're let down and have more confusion on what your bodies doing. A part of me is hoping there is a chance that my bleeding won't pick up I'll try to go about my life and in a week I'll find out I am infact pregnant ..but we all know that's just wishful thinking. I'm so tired or people telling me it will happen when it's supposed to or wait a week and see what happens or don't think about it. Its like when you have a crush and you can't stop thinking about them. It consumes your brain and never stops .. All I want is for me to be a mommy .. For me and my amazing man to start our family.

If anyone could send some love, advice, maybe even similar stories or situation I would greatly appreciate it .. :(