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I Don't Remember Being This Scared Last Time

I just found out I'm pregnant. I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow. We tried for forever. And had one faint line that never came. This is my second pregnancy. I have a beautiful baby boy who will be three soon.

Last time I waited 8 weeks before we told anyone. This time, I feel like it got out quickly. I told my mom, and then my husband told his and now it feels like the whole family knows. I had zero fear about the health of the baby last time. But I'm just so nervous. I'm not even due for a doctors appointment until October.

I was so sick with my first kid, but nothing with this one. And I was working two jobs with the first one to put my husband through the Master's program. Now, I'm at home with my son. I've had some tired moments, but all in all, I don't feel pregnant.

We are supposed to go the 12 hours home on Thursday. Big family hoopla. His and my families will be there. My mom says I've gotta tell them. I'm just scared. It's so early. And at the same time, I wanna be excited.

I know she can't force me to tell. And I know she won't tell anyone without my permission. She knows that would cause a rift and keep her Out of the loop with her grandbabies.

I hadn't heard the heartbeat last pregnancy and everything was fine. I guess because I'm not puking I don't feel pregnant.

My brother and sister in law announced and their baby had no heartbeat. We all cried. I was so broken for them. And a little life never realized. I'm just not sure I want the world on it if this is us. That's so fresh in our lives that I just can't shake the fear.

PLEASE no horror stories about losing babies.

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