Stay or Go? Not being married.

Question

I've been with the same man for almost 4 years now. I have a son from a previous relationship, but his bio father is not in the picture (which is a great thing!) My bf now is my sons "dad" he's been around since he was 3 years old and my son calls him dad. My bf is perfectly fine with this and calls him his son. We recently had a child together who's only a few months old. So I basically have 2 children with this man, have been together for 4 years, we live together, pay bills together, are paying on a car together... doing the whole husband and wife bit but without the actual marriage. 
This upsets me! I want to be married to him. I want to have our whole "family" have the same last name. I love this man and I know he loves me... idk what the hold up is. We have had this discussion before about it all, he just complains about money and not having enough for a ring, when I have repeatedly told him I don't want something extravagant, I just want his last name. For our little family to become a whole! 
Any advice would be helpful! 
Would you stay with him and wait it out? It's killing me slowly and making me insecure about our future. I don't want to wait forever.

Answer

Find a cheap ring and tell him that is the one you want. Don't leave a great relationship just because marriage hasn't happened. I had to wait 7 years. You're spending the rest of your life with him, why rush it?

Answer

Look at it this way, you could be married to an absolute dick but have that family title or the same last name. This guy obvious loves you and his family so why would you leave that just because he's only a "boyfriend?"

Answer

Propose to him. Buy a ring for him.

Answer

Sounds like you two are really close. I would just talk to him and explain how I felt. 
& then you can go from there. But I definitely think marriage is best.

Answer

You don't even need a ring right now, just go to the courthouse and getting legally married and change your name, then save up for the perfect ring and wedding

Answer

He could just WANT to get you something expensive. When my fiance and I were first looking at jewelry stores just for fun, I pointed out my dream ring which was close to $5,000 and said I'd want it if we ever ended up rich, and then started showing him cheaper rings that I liked too, he surprised me buy getting me my dream ring and when I said he could've gotten me something else, he said he knew it was the ring I've always wanted and he wanted to get it for me

Answer

I had a smilie situation. I ended up saying as casually as I could "if we aren't engaged in a year obviously it's not going to happen so there is no point for me in all of this. We should just move on then." I didn't make a huge deal or threaten him... I just let him know how important it was for me and out son! He didn't really react... Or so I thought! He proposed about 7'months later! Now in hindsight he said he was just kinda lazy! He didn't wanna spend the money if he didn't "have to." When he realized he had to... He did!

Answer

Hang in there. I can totally relate to what you're going through - had to wait for eight  years. He hated me asking and pressuring him but I desperately wanted to have him "officially" in my life and for the rest of my life. We have a son together and I really wanted all of us to have our own family name. He proposed on my birthday last year and we got married in may. It was my dream wedding and absolutely worth the wait. 
Sending you patience and love!

Answer

Talk to him about it if he wants marriage in the future.

Answer

If that's all that's upsetting you, I say wait but keep letting him know... I told my SO that after A min your husband privileges will start to get taken, it's so rough because it's been so long and you haven't been stressing it until now... But you all can go to the justice of peace, you could get a ring from Walmart or none at all if it's truly about just making you all whole. Don't let society pressure you... You could always change your last name...

Stay or Go? Not being married.

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