someone hear me out ):

so i just want to tell people about what happened and hopefully to get some advice from someone else's perspective. well i was in a relationship for maybe over a year and a half. so instead of saying her name i will just say the letter k. so my bf , ex or whatever i tbh don't even know. but i cheated on him maybe a little over 5 months ago. but he took me back. we've been fine and until maybe 3 weeks ago . i told him i wasn't happy anymore and that i wasn't in love with him anymore. at the beginning there was me and the girl k. basically he chose her over me and then chose me over her. it was a whole roller coaster thing. but he chose me in the end. so i went out to 3 parties with my friend and her boyfriend . and he couldn't come. i feel like it's unfair to me because i can't go out without him. he always has to come with or i can't go. so his ex is in this behavioral camp out of state somewhere. the night i went out to those parties also to be clear i didn't do anything either she texted him on facebook. she basically confessed her feelings to him. saying how she cares a lot about him and how that she can't live her life without him and how she's in love with him and how she wants him to be kissing her all over and wanting to be together. but no he responded. and it broke my heart. all of the things they were saying to each other just makes me feel so ugly about myself. she was saying how she'll be back in a couple of months and that he tells her to fuck me and that im a bad girls and shit. he tells her that she's always been the one and how he chose the wrong girl to be with and that it should've been her and how he's never stopped loving her. then they start calling each other babe and baby and shit and he's just watching me sitting there crying hysterically reading the messages. he was telling her how drop dead gorgeous she is and how she's a model and everything. the worst part for me is that he said that he loved her back and that he told her that he'll wait for however many months to wait for her to come back. so my friend that was there asked him well who would you rather be with more tiff or k and he said k . and then he asked me to be fwb and but i said no. bc i told him that im not doing it while he's in love with another girl and when she comes back that he'll just drop me. and he said that is what will probably happen. im sorry this is terribly long and that i just needed to vent to someone.