family issue

Hi this might be long but having family issues. I married my husband and very happy. His family welcomed me for approx. 5.4 seconds and then I was by the way side. My husband and I know that he isn't the favorite with his family and he is last. The way his family treated me was excruciating and I didn't take it likely. Que big fight. We made up now a year later we have Hd to pay a lot to my in laws for stupid crap. Made us feel bad and such so we just did everything to get them to stop. Now I'm pg. last pregnancy it was a surprise but then I had an ectopic. Family didn't care once they found out wouldn't talk to us or such. Instead asked us to take over some bills even though they said they would help us get settled. Now that I'm pg again should I wait till my husband decides to tell them or ??? Opinions wanted please . I just don't want them to accuse us of leaving them out of the loop...if that makes sense