So im leaving my husband. I dont know when but i know i have to.

So hears a little back ground of when it all started down hill... In Feb i found out that for the first year of our relationship was a lie because he was meeting girls online and having sex with them unprotected. So i punched him as hard as i could in his dick and walked out. Then a month later we were back together because i beleived he had changed. Well we got married in April and everything was good. But as the days went by i started to hate him and everything that he does because i am still not over what he did to me. Every time we have sex, i think of what i am doing wrong and all the hurtful shit he has said to me.

... So last night is what made me decide to finally leave him. I woke up to him about to leave with my dog at about 12:30am. He tells me he is going to have drinks with his sister and speeds off in the car. About an hour goes by when i realize that HE STOLE $40 FROM MY PIGGY BANK!!! And took my phone.

So i hid the rest of my money along with his adderall (he is prescribed but abuses it). When he came home he had looked super fucked up and angry. I asked him what he spent my money on and he couldn't come up with an answer. I also noticed his shirt was on backwards and still, no answer. He also lost my phone.

Here's where shit gets fucked up and i know he is on drugs... He cant find his weed or adderall, and i wouldn't tell him where i hid it until he gave me my money back, so he pushes me (which shocked me to my core because he never has laid a hand on me) and stomps around the house, he kicked the fan so hard it blew apart, started throwing glass on the floor and pushing me around and stole my walet til i finally gave him his drugs so he would leave.

Hours passed and 5:30 rolled around and i started to get really worried. At about 7:30 he came home more pissed off and angry. Started blaming me for everything and telling me he hates me.

I really dont feel i have the strength to actually leave this marriage behind. I really need some advice and no judgements please. Im only 19 and wish i had never gotten into this mess.