Now I feel guilty too

So baby and I both have complications, and we've been through so much that I've been working with the doctor on my anxiety and depression for more than three months now. We've hardly told people we are expecting- extended families don't know, only a few friends do know, and we deleted most social media, so no announcements there. Now, things are looking better- still with complications- but better. And I feel guilty. This pregnancy hasn't been celebrated at all the way my first daughter's was six years ago. I'm jealous of everyone having showers because I know I won't get one. I am still full of anxiety and depression, so we aren't motivated to tell people because it feels like that excitement is lost. What would I even say? I don't feel close to anyone. I haven't been invited out in months, so I don't feel excited to tell my friends a thing. I'm really starting to hate myself for how I feel. My husband knows. My doctor knows. My parents have some idea.

Any ideas on how I might cheer up a little?? I feel so lost.