parents keep asking for money. how can I say no??

Question

Long story short. I have been supporting for my parents since I was 19. Now I am 34 married with 2 kids and pregnant with 3rd. On and off whatever they need I am the first one they call. They have 4 other kids but I'm the first one to ask for money. Occasionally they call me to check on me and my health but most of the time their calls are for their needs or problems. Now I lost my job last year and they about it. I also have a license in real estate but I only use it when a client comes through reference. Right now I am at  home and do not plan to get back to work for another year. Still they call me every month and ask me for money. They know my financial conditions but they are very selfish now. I have stopped calling home and just today after so many weeks my dad called me to ask for money. If I tell them upfront they blackmail me emotionally and play blame games. What should I do??

Answer

When my mom needed help we took control of her bank account, credit cards and all finances. She got an allowance. The only way I'd help someone is if they were willing to let me literally control their finances until they no longer needed my help. Sounds like your parents won't change and don't care. Have you guys (kids) sat them down to look at their spending to offer suggestions on how they can cut back so they can be more self reliable?

Answer

Stand your ground! Don't do it. My parents had to learn that we wouldn't always have the means to help them when my dad would lose his job. Now they ar whetting back on their feet because my siblings and I got together and basically told them we can't do it anymore.

Answer

How are they blackmailing you? I would just tell them they need to grow up and be adults you have your own family to support then if that fails id stop talking to them until they realize your not a bank

Answer

Just let them know you can't because you have to support your family first and that they need to ask someone else. Then I would tell your siblings what's going on and tell them they need to step it up since you can help any more. I had to cut my dad off cuz all he did was take and take until it started affecting my finances and I couldn't do it.

Answer

Grow some balls and tell them no! It would be different if you had income maybe you'd be willing to help them but as of now you don't have the funds and they will have to figure it out on their own 👍

Answer

Why can't your parents support themselves? Is it a medical reason? I'm sorry but if you could support them at 19 I don't see why they can't support themselves. No 19yr old should have to support her parents.

Answer

Why do they constantly need money?  I would direct them into some sort of financial counseling if they continue to have issues, they may just not be managing money properly.  My father knows not to ask me for money because I know he's terrible with his. I put my foot down early on and told him to figure out his finances.

Answer

Just say, guys.. You know I dont work. I cant afford to hand over money, and please stop asking because now its getting to the point where you're making me feel uncomfortable.

Answer

I say tell them no you have a family to support! As much as u love them you come first not them if they black mail u I would say if u continue you will never get another cent from me again good by and hang up

parents keep asking for money. how can I say no??

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