Getting close to my due date

And i can't sleep,

I have headaches

My chest hurts

Feel like I can't breath

My fiancé is dead

And i will have to deliver this baby alone

I feel so angry at him

For taking his life

But I miss him so much

And hope he can forgive me for all the pain i caused,

I have no pics of us together of him holding my tummy or anything

Feel so depressed

I'm considered high risk now at 36 weeks

And I really don't want to take any more sleeping or anxiety pills

But I just want to shut down....

I feel so alone

I'm not looking forward to meeting this baby anymore