So my boyfriend and I have discussed babies many many times. Mainly myself has gone back and forth between really wanting one right now, to getting too scared and "not the right time". We're not married, not engaged but love eachother very much, I mean people have babies without even loving eachother so at least we have that going for us. So we finally decided to have a serious conversation about being on the same page and telling eachother exactly what we want, and in the end we both agreed we will keep doing what we're doing (no protection, BC, I haven't been on BC for months and we don't use condoms) so we'll keep doing what we're doing and whatever happens, happens. We know we'll both be ecstatic if I get pregnant.. so we were finally on the same page and we had sex a few nights ago, and after I was like okay I'm not gonna go pee or sit on the toilet and wait for the leftover  sperm to drip out haha.. he's completely convinced that laying upside down helps the sperm get there! Which I know doesn't, but I did it anyway cause I know he thinks that.. right when I turned upside down he basically yelled at me to go pee and that I needed to stop what I was trying to do.. and that he wasn't ready.. that was the gist. I was completely caught off guard because a week prior we had discussed it all.. I know he's probably just scared or whatever.. but it honestly really got to me.. I slept shitty that night and the next morning first thing I did was ball my eyes out.. I just don't understand him sometimes.. you can't say one thing and act upon it and then decided to change your mind. That's not how it works.. and that scares me because if i do get pregnant, I'm afraid he wouldn't be happy about it. I just don't know. What I do know is that I'm going back on the pill for a while.. he doesn't get to determine when or if we're gonna have a baby.. and neither do I. It's a decision we both need to make together, so I'm going back on until we both decide as a couple when our right time will be.. I just needed to rant cause I don't have many people to talk to who would understand.. hopefully someone out there has a similar situation they'd like to share! Either way, thanks for "listening" 😇