I'm married and in love with someone else

Future reference: DH= Husband and J= friend

Okay so to start off I have a friend J that I've known for quite a few years now but we have never met in person despite the fact that we live just a mere 2hrs30mins away from eachother. Our interactions are Skype and Video games on like Playstation.

Well a few months ago my DH decided to cheat on me, I of course told J searching for advice and while me and my DH were on break J and I connected a bit more. Long hours on the phone ect,. All night talking until 5am and we never said anything inappropriate to each other really because he felt uncomfortable about it because he didn't want to invade my husbands boundaries. There is a bit of an age gap between us to, he's 7 years older than me but that doesn't bug me really at all. Anyway since my husband and I have been working things out we've distance our contact between each other, until the past couple days, my husband wants another baby and I don't because I don't think I want to be with him I want to be with J. So I made one of those letters that you write to get your feelings out but should never actually send and then I went and sent it to J... We just spent the last 4 hours talking and he said if I decide to leave my DH that he would want to try and give daiting each other a shot the only thing he said was that he just isn't looking to get married anytime soon, which I'm of course completely fine with. I just don't know if im ready to just give up on my marriage, I mean we've been together for 5 years but only married for 2. I hate breaking hearts and I hate feeling like I didn't give my marriage my all because we've only been married for 2 years.. but he cheated! But now I feel like I'm cheating because I'm in love with someone else.. I'm so lost.