I hate life right now

I hate my life, I want to move, I don't want to have kids. I'm in the worst mood. I'm tired of having 45 plus day cycles after having a miscarriage and dnc in April. I've had a second miscarriage since then. I'm tired of the ups and downs. I just feel so helpless and I want to make a change. My neighbors are a nightmare..... just everything is awful.