Feeling down

Im just so sad that i dont want to express my feelings or what's going on i just feel shut down giving up on hopeless i love my kids more then anything they're the one that make me a better person but some how i tried to put a smile on my face out there that people's would see that there's nothing wrong even with my own mom or my family i express my feelings when i feel like crying i just lock myself in the bathroom and cry my relationship seem to be perfect but the truth I'm broken im crush im hurts and what's worse i can't even tell my husband how im feeling i feel like talking to him but then it's even worth wasting my time because it wouldn't go no where😢😭💔