Boyfriend transitioning...?

A few weeks ago while at a bar with a friend of my boyfriend's who he hadn't seen in a long time she used the male pronouns and then said or they? i don't know how you identify...and he started talking about how he was thinking of going gender neutral/more femme....I knew he was queer but this was a blow. We have been together over 2 years and he hasn't spoken about this to me and just casually drops it into conversation with an old friend....the next day he talked about wanting to shave and asked if I would do makeup for him....doesn't mention anything more than that...then I come home and he's looking up breast forms....then the following weekend he finally shaved and is wearing a low cut ladies shirt and got upset when I was weirded out. Its mostly that whatever is going on he isn't talking to me about it and that hurts though I understand it must be difficult to go through and tell people. I love him so much. I've dealt with Lyme disease since we met and he is basically the reason I'm still alive. I have been abused in relationships in every way imaginable and he has been nothing but kind. I feel guilty for not being attracted to the new person I think he wants to become...or maybe it's just that it is a secret that is right in my face.... I'm also not particularly attracted to women and if this is what he wants it will add another layer of difficult. I'm still dealing with lots of health issues due to Lyme and processing this is giving me panic attacks....any advice? I'm losing my mind here