when to let your baby stay the night somewhere

Question

My family member is insistent that my baby needs to stay the night at their house so I can get a break. I keep telling them that it's fine and that it would be more trouble than it's worth since I am EBF. Even if she stayed at their house I would still have to get up in the middle of the night and pump since she wakes multiple times a night to feed. And I would have to pump enough for her to stay there-which is a lot of work. It's not like we don't see them often. We go to their house usually once during the week then every single Sunday for dinner. My baby doesn't like being at their house past eight o'clock. I think it's because it's extremely loud and chaotic. They've got four kids who are preteens and teenagers who always have someone over. At any given time there's like 12 people there. She screams until we get home. She just likes being at home for bedtime. They keep telling me I need to break that habit. But I don't understand why-I enjoy being at home for bedtime why shouldn't she? 
  
They also keep telling me how I need to give her cereal to help her sleep because they gave it to their babies at a month old and rhey always slept through the night. I've told them no my pediatrician doesn't recommend it and I don't see a need for cereal. Plus she's breastfed. I'm not going to pump a bottle when I could just feed her. So I feel like they just want to keep her so they can try the cereal and see if it helps her.  
  
I've also told them I'm not ready for her to stay somewhere. She's only twelve weeks old. I'm running out of excuses and my patience is wearing thin. Am I being too much of a helicopter parent? When did everyone else let their babies stay the night with family members?

Answer

Be straight forward.

No thank you.  -on spending the night.

I'm glad that worked for you. -on cereal.

Change the subject. You don't need to justify your parenting decisions to anyone. Sounds like they want another baby. Maybe you should suggest that they should have another one, instead of trying to take over yours 🙂

Answer

Just simply say sorry not ready but when I am I will let you know. If they keep pushing just say "enough I told you it's not happening back off"! I didn't sleep away from any of my children until they were 2 and then it was only because I was in the hospital having another baby haha. My son does sleep overs at grandma and grandpas house starting when he was 3 now he's 4. Tell them if they are that concerned you have a break they can come over in the morning you will have 2 bottles pumped and they can watch baby while you sleep in!

Answer

Nothing irks me more than ppl telling me how to take care of my child. You know what works for you and what works for your baby. Mines up a lot at night, EBF, and I have no problem with getting up with him. Yet ppl tell me I need to do this or that to get him to sleep. No, I'm ok, he's ok, leave us alone. 
And of course your baby wants to be home for bed. Bedtime is about being comfortable and cozy and relaxing. And nothing is more relaxing to a baby than a familiar, loving environment and mommy - especially when EBF. I can guarantee your baby would not sleep at this age at someone else's house when used to being breastfed overnight. Plus it's their HOME. They're meant to sleep there every night. It's meant to be preferred. Even when they're a child doing sleepovers. They'll want to come home occasionally and be home sick and there's NOTHING wrong with that. 
And the cereal thing pissed me off too. It's well known it's not good for they're digestive system. Just because it worked in the past doesn't mean it's right and again it's even more of a concern for a EBF infant. Did either your mom or MIL BF. Because if not they don't understand these things. It's a whole different ballgame than formula feeding. 
And yes it's so much worse to have to get up to pump than to get up and BF. 
It's your baby. You have every right to say no and you can't feel guilty. Do what's best for your child and for you.

Answer

If they really want to "give you a break" and you're comfortable with it, then you could tell them to come get your LO on a Saturday morning to go shopping or something while you sleep in!! :)
My baby wants to be home during bedtime as well and quite frankly, so do I. Babies thrive in routine. We have gone on 2 trips and my baby was SO happy when we got back home. They know.
If I had a dollar for every time my parents or in laws mentioned cereal, I could buy him a couple more Merlin sleep suits. 😂
Hang in there! Be honest! You know best.
And remember, you don't need to justify or explain yourself. If someone asks you, "why" you simply say, "Because I'm her mom"

Answer

2-3 month my baby traveled an hour to jersey to spend the week at her aunts house. I wouldn't have wanted to bring her out but her aunt insisted and really wanted her to come.

Answer

I think they need to be gently told that you know what's best for you and your baby and what worked for them isn't necessarily what works for you. My baby is 13 weeks old and the thought of him staying the night somewhere without me is awful. I can't even imagine it. I'm exhausted but wouldn't want him staying with anyone else.

Answer

Sounds like they definitely have ulterior motives!!! The cereal might work but it's not recommended like it used to be! I'm sure they mean well but heck NO don't let your baby stay there. I doub you would get any extra sleep not only because of pumping but especially because you will be worried. Lots of woman let their babies stay overnight with family even that young but not if the family members don't respect your parenting style. All babies are different mine has been sleeping for 8-10 hrs the last 3 weeks and my first didn't until she was 6 mon old. I don't plan on doing rice cereal ever with this one. When her Ped suggests solids I'll start with oatmeal. It's your baby NOT theirs I would just be careful how you vent to them from now on. Keep baby with you for now. Maybe, when she is older she can go there overnight.

Answer

Omg I know how to feel to the T. My mother in law and mom say the same thing to me but I don't feel comfortable to let my baby stay anywhere or give her cereal I BF and we are fine I have pumped and she hates bottles right now I do try every now and then but NOT cereal I don't feel I need to. I'm so used to waking up I'm fine with it personally I could care less what anyone says. Lol Good luck I would just be straight forward with them who give a fu*k 🙄

Answer

My baby girl won't be staying the night with anyone at least until she's 1. I work all week and only get to see her about 2-3 hours a night. So that time and weekends are precious to me. Plus, she is EBF. Also, cereal does not help them sleep through the night and as you said, it's not recommended. Do what you want with your child - regardless of what anyone else thinks!

when to let your baby stay the night somewhere

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