idk what to do!!

I said I wasn't gone test until the beginning of next month posting anonymous because I have people I know on here. This is my 4th pregnancy so I don't know how to feel!! The first 3 all failed so I don't know what to do. I don't wanna tell my loved ones because of the past. So nervous I don't even wanna tell my fiancé it's so heartbreaking telling him bad news in the past