I don't know how I feel

I met this guy online and I went out with him one night because I didn't want to third wheel between my sister and her date but I really wanted to eat at the place. So let me start from the beginning I was in a relationship with a guy for a year he was both mentally and physically abusive but then he cheated on me and I got the guts to finally leave him (I am 19 going on 20 now) so I have been single since May and anyone who crossed my path I would immediately ignore considering g that I told myself I would focus more on school and less on my feelings well I met this guy online and I would text him every now and then but nothing to abrasive and then one day I needed a date.. I asked everyone in my phone that day but him and then last minute I decided to ask him I really didn't want to because I knew asking him after just meeting him out would probably blow up in my face but I decided wth just do it so I ended up asking him and he accepted. That day we went out was the most fun I've had in years and for some reason I was just so attracted to him I just wanted to kiss him and this is not normal for me because I do not normally feel that way towards guys but for some reason I just wanted to be all up under him. So then he kissed me and it was no ordinary kiss it felt like the best kiss I ever had (trust me I've been with a lot of guys) it gave me butterflies and made me want to tear him up right then and there but I behaved myself and then at the end of that night just when I was about to tear him up in that car right then and there on sight that is when I realized that he was a virgin. So I stopped and looked at him and then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes... I don't normally do the whole jump into relationship thing after meeting them but remember when I said it was something about him. Well after that I started giving him way more attention than necessary and I started to feel that this was all about to blow right up in my face but then he asked me to spend the weekend with him so I said yes well a week went by and I'm packing up ready to watch this blow up in my face ready for him to say that he doesn't really like me and that he was just playing but he didn't he came and picked me up and I ended up sitting there in that car riding along to his house now keep in mind I am still thinking shit is going to hit the fan I'm going to end up falling for this guy and getting my hopes up and he is just going to squash them... but no you know what ended up happening me and him eating pizza and having sex 6-8 times in a night where not only was the sex good he has a great big 🍆 & it's takes him hours to cum so then we spent the whole next day sleeping until it was time for me to go back home I was at a point that I felt like if I came one more time I was gonna die, my insides hurt, & I can't move a muscle in my body.... so here is where my topic comes to play... after spending the night with him I now feel like I just want to be under him all the time. I feel like I just want to be with him but I can't help but to also feel like I'm falling really fast for him and that I'm going to end up hurt. He says he really likes me but I'm so use to messing up anything good that comes my way that I feel as if though I'm just going to end up messing this up and right back at square one. I know that was a lot to read but I don't have friends and I need someone to help me make sense of my brain so why not the cyber world 😌