Some of y'all may seen my other post if not, I left my home, job, friends, family, everything because my boyfriend wanted me to move 16 1/2 hours from Texas to Indiana to start a family  well as 19weeks 6 days he told me he didn't wanna be with me and he didn't want to raise the baby. It destroyed me. So he I am 20 1/2 weeks pregnant stressed beyond belief my doctor ended up putting my on one week of Ativan and next week I'll be packing up my stuff after I finally convinced my grandmother to take me in back home in Texas. I haven't told anyone here I'm leaving yet. We live with his mom and she told him he's being an idiot and she refused to kick me out. But it's hard to see him every day and it would be even harder once baby Colton is here to see his "daddy" walking in and out of the room but doing nothing with him. He's has no part in this pregnancy. Never came up with any names but told me how awful my names are  I picked Colton Avery  he HATED it so I changed it to his middle name and did Colton Ray. Well with me going home and raising him alone I'm picking my name of Colton Avery and he will have my last name now. My ex already has a 5 year old daughter who he's barley in her life she doesn't even like him playing with her. His excuse is he's too busy to raise this baby because now he needs a second job (to be able to pay me child support) I asked him if he could ever just send me a text asking how Colton is or updates when he's walking and stuff and he said @if I have time" it hurts me and I'm scared to tell Colton one day when he's older but I made the promise to never speak poorly of his dad or keep him from him if he ever grows up and decides to be a father again. But I'm scared moving back home and not knowing anything about raiding a baby and I know even less about baby boys. I can't be there to teach him the male parts of his life he needs to know. I'm a wreck. I'm telling them this week I'm moving back home on Monday or Tuesday and I know his mom will be hurt but my ex will probably just be relaxed I'm gone and he can act like none of this happened. I don't know I guess my reason for posting this is just I'm so scared of how I'm going to do this. Who's gonna help me in labor who's gonna help me with anything. I just want a family and for him to not grow up with broken parents but I want him to know I'm doing my best to do everything I can for him...