By my grandmothers husband. I was 4-5 years old. I kept it a secret for years. 

During that time my mom was running from our dad who was an alcoholic & drug addict. He was extremely abusive towards my mom, brother and my self. Never sexually, just physically. I was always scared to say something because I was afraid my dad would actually murder him. 

The first time I told my mom was in my first semester in college. I sent her an email and I asked her not to ask me about it. I just wanted her to know. Of course she felt terrible, guilty and she had no clue that was going. 

A few years later I met my husband. I ended up telling him about it. I told him because his mom made a comment about children who are molested usually do it to someone else. I was livid! I couldn't believe she said that because I could never hurt a child. I also never told her I've been through that. The only people that know are my mom, my sister and my husband. 

Now that I'm going to be a first time parent I know that I'm going to be extremely protective. 

Ive been struggling with the thought of who will be allowed to watch our son. I don't know how to deal with it. My husband slightly mentioned "but it's family.. " and to me that means nothing because it was family that did it to me. 

My question is for someone who has been through it.. 

How do you trust others to watch your child? Even when it's family. I know I can't put our son in a bubble and protect him from every evil thing in this world but what can I do? How do you trust?