Everyone had gone to bed and were asleep and he started trying it on with me, touching me and trying to put his hands down my trousers. I obviously felt uncomfortable as although we were in a seperate compartment in the tent, there were still people near so I didn't want to do anything with him...also he had cheated on me not long before this and so I just didn't feel right letting him touch me. 

I told him to stop and that I didn't want to but he pulled down my trousers and carried on touching me. I forced his hands off of me and pushed him away but he still kept going back. I kept telling him to stop but he wasn't listening and I didn't want to be too loud as I was scared I would wake other people up and they would hear..I wish I had now...

I was laying with my back to him and he came up close behind me pushing against me. He pulled my underwear out of the way and pushed himself inside me, I was scared and didn't know what to do without waking people up. I pushed him off again but he just kept trying. ..I guess I just left him for a minute or so hoping it would be over soon but tried one last time pushing him off and he just gave up that time. ...is this still rape? I guess I wasn't as forceful as I could have been as I was scared other people would notice but I still made it clear I didn't want it..

His excuse was that he was excited about our first time sleeping next to each other. 

I still feel violated and think about it regularly..it haunts me and feels like because of this he still has a hold over me even though we broke up over a year ago. 

Sorry it's so long..