Homebirth turned compassionate cesarean at 37 weeks

I'm a doula and knew we wanted a homebirth before we even conceived. At 8 weeks, we found a midwife we loved and began my prenatal care with her. Though I seemed to get every annoying pregnancy symptom over the months, baby and I stayed healthy and normal. At 32 weeks, I woke up one morning to find baby in a funny new position. At her next visit, my midwife confirmed my suspicion that he was breech, and an ultrasound confirmed what she palpated. I began all the usual suspects to try to turn the baby: breech tilts, Webster Technique chiropractic, acupuncture with moxibustion, visualization--you name it. The babe, however, would not budge! We scheduled an external cephalic version at the hospital for 37 weeks, and arrived eager and optimistic. Baby aced the nonstress test, so we went to check my vitals. Much to my surprise, my blood pressure had shot up to 166/110. We kept track over the next few hours, but it never went below 145/90 or so. A urine test revealed significant protein in the urine, indicating that I had developed preeclampsia. The only way to cure preeclampsia is to give birth, and even then, it can take days for the symptoms to fully subside. The doctor, my midwife, and my husband and I came up with a game plan. We'd attempt to turn the baby in the OR with epidural anesthesia, and if we turned him, I'd begin the induction process. If we couldn't, we'd have the baby by cesarean birth. We headed back to the OR, and I got an epidural. I started shaking right away, which was annoying, but something I'd seen a lot as a doula and therefore not scary. The doctor and a CNM began to attempt to turn the baby while a nurse closely monitored the heartbeat. For me, the pain was intense despite the anesthesia. I could see the doc and CNM putting their full body weight into trying to turn the baby. I looked into my husband's eyes and took deep breaths, and I was able to cope. Unfortunately, the baby's heartbeat dipped low to 70 BPM, and it took oxygen for me and a few minutes to bring it back up. They tried to turn the baby one more time, but it was clear he was not going to budge an inch. I spent my whole pregnancy eager and excited to experience labor, so I had some tears in the OR as they prepped me for the birth. I asked them to do a vaginal swab that we could use to give the baby exposure to my vaginal microbiome to help establish his gut flora, and the pediatrician happily obliged. The team agreed to support us in delayed clamping, immediate skin to skin, narrating the procedure, lowering the drape for the birth, and maintaining silence as the baby was born so that he could hear my voice first. I thanked the team for all their patience and support, and they began the surgery. I felt pressure and nausea as they started, and even a little pain. The anesthesiologist gave me medications to help, but I still felt intense pressure in my abdomen and mons pubis as they started to guide the baby out. He came out purple-red with a big smear of vernix on his back, and they held him up for me to look at until the cord stopped pulsating. Right away they set him on my chest, and I got to feel his warm and wet little body. The pediatrician asked to take him over to the warmer to see if we could get some proper crying and full lung inflation, so my husband held up his phone with the camera on so that I could watch them work since the drape blocked my view. After what was less than 10 minutes but felt like half an hour, they brought him back to my chest where he stayed for the remainder of the repair. I kissed and kissed him, so shocked to be holding my son a full month before I thought I would when I woke up that morning. My shaking had continued throughout, but I was able to stay so distracted loving on the baby that it didn't bother me as much as it might have. The doctor and CNM finished up, and my husband went with our baby to the recovery room while I was transferred into a gurney and then brought over to join them. Our son went straight back into my chest, and my husband and I put the baby to the breast where he started sucking like a little champ. Our midwife came in to sit with us, and we told her all about the birth and introduced her to our beautiful, amazing son Donato Jacob. Soon, we were settled into a postpartum room and cozied up for a night of skin to skin bonding and breastfeeding. Despite his young age at birth, he's been latching and nursing with no trouble at all. My milk started to come in after 48 hours, and he's been ahead of schedule with all his pees and poops. I'm totally, crazy in love and in awe of what my body and our love has created. It's certainly not the birth I would have chosen for us, and recovering from the cesarean hasn't been easy so far, but I feel at peace with how it all transpired because our medical team--who all met me only hours or minutes before birth--supported our autonomy and did everything they could to give us the most loving birth we could have. We love our son so deeply already and fall even deeper with each moment. It's been a silver lining to get to meet him that much sooner, and I can't wait to keep learning who he is and falling in love.