Initiating sex or making the "first move"
My boyfriend and I have each had our fair share of horrible relationships in the past that have, in one way or another, left us faced with our own challenges to overcome.
One of those challenges, more so for myself than for him, is making the first move or initiating sex...
My last relationship lasted over (unhealthy) 3 years but the sex ended about 6 months in. After that I was rejected or turned down every time I tried to initiate sex or any form of intimacy. During his most significant past relationship, my boyfriend was also rejected/turned down frequently by his SO and sex was solely on her terms and was in his words "weird."
Now, despite knowing he never would, I struggle with the fear of being rejected or turned down by my boyfriend. Most of the time, my attempts are subtle because at least if it's subtle I won't get embarrased if I am rejected/turned down but they're so subtle I know he doesn't get it. He struggles with initiating as well, not to the same extent as I do but he does. We both want the other to initiate more but struggle to do so ourselves.
Has anyone else struggled with this? How can I work past that fear? How can I make my 'attempts' less subtle without throwing myself into a full on panic attack?
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