So I love seeing all these women on here getting pregnant, and showering their positives, and ultra sounds. It's amazing and I am truly happy for you all! But at the same time.. I get angry.. not at the women, but at becoming pregnant. Especially the ones who didn't even try or the 13-18 year olds who accidentally got pregnant. But because I have been trying for so long with no reasonable explanation.. it's heartbreaking seeing commercials with little tiny babies, or friends posting about their unborn/newborns, or simply going out in public and seeing women with baby bumps and little ones.. all I want and have ever wanted was to become pregnant and have a child of my own.. after over 4 years, I finally gave up.. the past 5 months have been the hardest. I am depressed, and I've gotten to a certain point of total shut down. I cry every time it crosses my mind, even briefly.. the only thing I have ever truly wanted in life, and it most likely will never happen.. so many women and teens are getting pregnant without even trying. Women with serious issues are getting pregnant. But yet.. there's me.. I'm alone, and scared, and hurt.. my husband wants his own kids just as much as I do. And we don't think it will ever happen for us.. I pray, I take medication, we eat healthy, we exercise moderately, we take vitamins.. to make it even worse, I am the only person in my own family and my husbands side to actually want kids. Not accidedntly happen. So every Holliday season, when i hear "oh when are you gonna have kids?" "You planning on kids yet?" "It's about time to have kids isn't it?" I just want to scream.. im sorry for the rant everyone.. it's just been hard and needed to get it out somewhere 💔