Okay so ... I was in a relationship for a year and 5 months and we broke up. It sucked ass because every girl has that guy that she thinks they are going to marry but sadly it isn't true, plus he took my virginity lol 😭 Before we dated he was like a bestfriend to me also so I was heartbroken.

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Anyways when I broke up with him for a few days he was begging me back but I wanted to see him try. Actually try. like he just started being a dick about it and said things like " Lmk when you wanna get back together " ... Now although I'm making him sound like a dick he was actually the sweetest guy I've dated until he's around with his friends that he says shit like that. We've actually broken up after we made 6 months before and he said shit like that also , so I hope you guys understand why I was confused whether to take him back or not

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So then one day I found out that he's talking to someone , because I realized everytime he texts me like shit it's bc another girl came in his life. He made it seem like it was one of the hoes we use to have problems with so I got upset but it was whatever I guess. It's been about a month since we broke up and oops... I forgot to mention the week that we broke up he cummed in me so I won't leave him 🙃 like is he dum I'm young 😂

So then everyone in my school has kind of been telling me about this girl he's talking to so I realized it was time to move on. Including his best friend that is getting closer to me now because they barely talk ( cause he hangs out w. the wrong ppl) .

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So this Tuesday I saw him and I honestly broke down... I couldn't help myself at all I missed him. but he seemed fine... but he'd confuse me by hugging me and touching my stomach incase I was pregnant because I had to wait for my results for Friday. So then he mentioned who it was which is a girl that is my friend that I didn't care if they hung out or not cause I trusted her and him with her. so I was like oh I'm not mad bc well I thought it was the hoe we use to have problems with. so then he's like jk its not her .. so I'm like okay w.e . I wanted him to tell me he didn't love me anymore so I can move on cause me I'm hard headed so I need to here something that really affects me .

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He told me how he liked someone .. and I was like okay. and then he's like I finally kissed someone else. and I'd say okay ... and when he said and we fucked ... that's when I was like oh shit bc we took each other's virginity. Now this guy that I have been friends with for years was coming over the next day and I use to have a crush on him so bad. So since he was trying to get me mad I blurted oh I was about to say cause " Dante " (the guy I like) is coming over tmm so I can fuck him. and he was like nah I was joking. He ended up kissing me BC I wanted a kiss cause he told me to stay in his life even as a friend and I said I didn't want to ... and he kind of said if he gave me a kiss I need to stay in his life so when we kissed ... it felt horrible... I knew he didn't feel the kiss and neither did I and when I was leaving he said FUCK mad loud cause I'm pretty sure he felt bad for the girl. Even though he was saying I miss you when I see you and he was also tearing up in one point saying he's in love with me.

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Anywho, when I was on my way home I got off the bus and saw Dante so I saw it as a sign cause I never gave him a chance because of my ex who I always ran back to. He came over the next day and I felt so comfortable with him like old times. And then we ended up fucking... now for me at first it was just about sex .. but he was making it romantic and all 😢 It was honestly the best sex ever , I had an orgasm 😭 Until he told me I was bleeding ... so according to him he popped my cherry so I don't know who I lost it to. after we were done I felt bad cause I've fucked someone else and I'm like shit. Until his bestfriend called me and I told him about what happened Tuesday with him and he ended up remembering saying how 2 months ago he was chilling with him and he was like I can't wait to marry karina and have kids with her and bla bla bla but I have a crush on this girl. And his bestfriend was like don't ruin your relationship bro .. and he's like yeah but this girl .. and he told me how he made it seem like they were already talking and that's when I notice he was acting wierd. So I blocked him that day because I thought he didn't do anything wrong so I was heartbroken and I'm like wow. so I didn't feel bad for what I did that day either. I texted the guy at night and I told him how I remembered he kissed my hand during sex 😂 and he was like gosh you remembered that? and I'm like yeah you didn't want me to? and he was like no I wanted you to. Me and this guy always had that special connection so you know I felt comfortable. Considering the fact when I first had sex with my ex he told me later that day how he caught feelings for a girl. Okay so anyways yesterday I got my results and it came out negative and he told me to keep him updated so I told him and he didn't really care if I was or not so it was whatever. Later on at night , my friend has this girl on Snapchat and my exs friend and she told me how if I'm sure he was talking to that hoe that we had problems with before because his hands were around this girl name greeta who was the Girl I TRUSTED LOLOLOL (: so they were at his friends house and they took a pic laying down the same way when me and him first started dating. and then she took a video of them and he grabbed her by the chin and tried kissing her. Things that we literally did the first day we were dating. So now I feel betrayed because it was my friend who I trusted and him who I thought would never fall for her. so I don't really feel bad anymore but then it's like if he finds out I am going to.

NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS PLEASE , I KNOW THIS WAS LONG BUT I FELT LIKE I NEEDED TO GIVE BACKGROUND INFORMATION TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE STORY. So should I feel bad guys? 😔 let me know ⬇