Anybody else? I'm fed up.

Question

My SO never helps with the kids. He hasnt bathed either kid their entire lives, doesn't change diapers, clothes, or feed them ever. I'm a SAHM and he works but jeeze cant he do anything?! I've gotten no sleep in months and am fed up. Am I just tired or would you be pissed off too?

Answer

I would be pissed! Y'all made those kids together atleast help out a little..

Answer

He's never bathed them their entire lives?? They better be a day old! 🙁
How was he before the children?

Answer

Even more than helping you, doing stuff for the kids helps HIM have a relationship with them. Everytime you bathe or feed your child they bond with you because you're spending that time with them and caring for them. He needs to physically care for his children so that they will know he loves them.

Working parents have it tough because they do have to work both in and out of the home. But it's vital that they do. First, it's not enough for a kid just to know that the working parent is working to provide financially, although that is good too. Your kids need his time and attention. Second, you need to have balance in order to be a good parent. Take a look at all the free time available to you two and divide it in half. Each parent should have roughly the same leisure time, or at least, time off from attending the kids.

You should talk to him. If you feel overwhelmed, it's his job as your partner to do what he can to alleviate that. Just as you would do for him. Come at it calmly and without accusing. Put it to him like you're asking for help. People like to feel they are helping. And most of us, women included, shut down if we feel like we're being accused of not doing enough.

Just say "hey, I've been feeling overwhelmed with parenting and I feel like it's no good for the kids to have me feeling so stressed out while I'm caring for them. I know there's not a lot of free time for you when you come home, but it would really help me if you could (fill in the blank - bathe the kids or fix dinner, or whatever). Would you be able to do that? If not every night, maybe a couple of nights a week?"

The other thing you could do is reach out for help from friends or family. This one's tough for me personally because I hate asking for help and I feel like my parents are so smug sometimes, haha! But if it's going to help your sanity in the long run, you gotta just do it. See if you can do dinner at grandma's or auntie's house on Friday. More in comments.

Answer

They're his kids too. What the fuck is his problem

Anybody else? I'm fed up.

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