this isn't how I should be feeling
I'm 19, I have a great relationship, and my own house.
My son is 2 weeks and I hate being a mom...it literally brings tears to my eyes just typing that out. Why don't I feel that connection and love to my baby the way I pictured every new mom did to their precious baby?
I love him, but every single day I think "why did I decide to get pregnant.." "life was easier before this" "it would'nt have hurt to wait a couple more years". I'm so upset and it feels like such a chore to even take care of him, I dread it.
I miss living at home with my mom, I miss being able to do whatever, I miss being able to leave the house, I miss not being tied down to a human 100% dependent on me.
My boyfriend works all week and I'm also by myself from 7am to 4pm, that's when things get the hardest, I don't like being home alone all week. I'm struggling and NOBDODY knows how I feel, I feel like my boyfriend wouldn't understand because he's taking this 'new baby' thing so lightly and easy..maybe it's because he gets out of the house all day?
I'm such a horrible mother..