the child she never got to hold.

I never do stop thinking about you, sometimes I clutch your blanket in my arms and sink my face into the hollowness and weep. sometimes I wish the tears would drown me to bring me to you. I am your mother yet you are not mine. I wanted you to be in my womb forever...you where safe there, what happened, why couldn't I keep you safe.

They say time is a healer, yet every day gone by is just another day I have lost you for. putting away your things, returning your crib to the store where not too long ago I stood gushing with emotion to the sales lady about you. I don't know why I felt ashamed. I never got to enjoy your grace, but I know one thing is for sure, you will wait for me, and I will be your mother one day, and that is enough for me to crash my way through until I reach you.

you're going to be a big brother/sister soon, I know you helped me out with that, as my prayers where answered very shortly after my desperate plea to God. I will love you, all my life.

I have nothing to offer this world but my devotion to my babies and to raise them with the intentions of being good to this earth as the earth is good to us. I pray my pregnancy is healthy and that I never have to feel the sharp agony of losing a child and that no other woman has to go through the same loss ever again.