thoughts?

Question

So my boyfriend made the comment that he wants to go to counseling because he "doesn't know if he resents me for getting pregnant" he knew I stopped taking birth control and he also knew I wanted to have children. He has previous kids whom I'm helping raise because their mother left them. He said he doesn't think it's fair I stopped taking birthcontrol but he knew I stopped and also we NEVER used a condom. I don't want to go to counseling I honestly want to ask him to give up his rights and just leave me and my baby alone . I'm quite sick of him. Am I wrong?

Answer

Your partner in this is telling you they want to work on your relationship and not just leaving you. He is telling you he is in this for the long haul!!! 
You're the irrational one here. Yea it takes two to tango and all that but he is making the effort to work on it with you not just leave you.

Also as a stepmother you see what leaving a child does to them. The mental state kids are in. And you want to do that to your baby???

Answer

Is this the only issue in your relationship? If so, it sounds like your pregnancy hormones are jumping the gun. The fact that he suggested counseling means that he recognizes theres a problem and is actually willing to fix it. Most men would never do that.

Answer

If you don't let your child see him you will only end up hurting the baby and he or she will grow to resent you when they are older. You are only hurting yourself in the long run. Really think about this and don't let your hormones make a decision that will be detrimental through the years.

Answer

Hmmm if he had just made the statement, I'd say hell, just leave the ass or be angry.  But what I can never fault someone for is opening up and being honest AND asking for help. He's not saying he resents you. He's saying he's having a feeling and it's strong and he needs to work it out and wants to work it out with you. Hes not necessarily even saying he thinks it's fair he feels that way. I totally get why you're mad and I don't know you or your relationship and if this is just the nail in the coffin of ongoing crap, then go with your gut, hon. But if this is more of a surprise thing and you, yourself, want to make things work with him, I'd give him credit not only for being open but wanting to seek help to work through it. The alternative would be, what, bottling it up and resenting you (again, even if it's totally illogical)

Answer

I think seeking professional help is wise. It seems like there's a lot you want to express & counseling should facilitate the process. I don't think you're exaggerating. I think he's only thinking of his needs, not yours. Be open to the counseling because I'm sure you want to improve your relationship & have the father of you child your lives.

Answer

You aren't wrong. You informed him you stopped birth control. He is a big boy who knows not wearing a condom is asking for an "unplanned" pregnancy. He sounds irrational, immature, and maddening as all Hell. Good luck to you!

thoughts?

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