Finally, a little over a week and I'll be 14 weeks, and I'll be able to see my baby for the first time! However, the closer our ultrasound approaches, the more anxious I get. And not a good anxious....a pit in my stomach kind of anxious. It's almost as if I mentally cannot even get past the point of thinking something is wrong. Because of our missed miscarriage last June, the thought of going into the ultrasound and receiving good news seems so far away that it seems near impossible. Not feeling my belly growing, and having what seems like few or mild symptoms, I just keep telling myself to expect the worst so I'm not let down. But the "mama" in me wants nothing but to rejoice and make plans and be excited and talk about my baby and subconsciously I won't let myself! I'm terrified ladies, I feel like crying. And I'm exhausted of feeling this way, not knowing if everything is ok or not, and hiding my pregnancy from the world. 😞😭