Should I let my husband enlist?

Question

Me and my husband have been together for almost 3 years now, we are high school sweethearts and since day 1 I'd always known he is crazy proud of the USA. 🇺🇸 He used to tell me he wanted to enlist and join the marines and I would tell him he's crazy thinking it's all talk. He still brings it up often and when I'm quiet or don't give him the answer he wants he jokingly says that I killed his dream.
We moved away from home a year ago and now he's working in the refineries in Houston. Money has been tight and is not worth the risks he makes at work. We're both 20 and neither of us has a degree. His best friend just recently became a military cop and is stationed in Pennsylvania with the Marines and was telling us about all the benefits he receives and how much money he has and how amazing it'll be for his future wife and children that he joined the marines. 
Now that his friend is showing all the good that can come from being in the marines, my husband keeps pushing and pushing this topic at me hoping that I'll just give in. 
My main reason that I always tell him i don't want him to go is that I'm scared he'll get shipped off at a time when I need him here to protect me! It's not jealousy or control issues it's just I truly care for the wellbeing of my hubby & I want him to be involved in our future kids lives. 😕
Any army wives that have any advice?! There are so many benefits but it comes with such a high price. Please share what helped you overcome this decision, if it's worth it and just some more info to better help me answer him the next time he brings it up.

Answer

Military wife here. For the first few years the pay isn't anything to brag about. The benefits are nice, but ultimately if he wants to protect our county then I would at least let him talk to a recruiter if he hasn't already. It's just something you'll have to seriously discuss and be open minded about because military life isn't for everyone, but it's very honorable and something you should be very proud of.

Answer

My husband is military. He had just joined when we met and left for deployment 6 months later. After two more years and second deployment, we got engaged and married. 6 months after that he left on deployment again. We joke that we've been apart more than together some years but I didn't let the fear of deployments get in the way. If he has to go, he has to go. You have to be strong and take care of you when he's gone. Find hobbies, etc but always know you can go home to visit to make them easier to get through.

We've been together 11 years now and several more deployments and have a little one. I wrestle some times with being a single parent and answering endless "when's daddy coming home" questions. But, I wouldn't change a thing!

Good luck with you guy's decision!

Answer

My DH  joined tha marines right out of high school. Just my personal opinion If I had a choice I would have asked him to join the air force over the Marines. They tend to be more family friendly. My DH was in 60 months total and of those months I saw him a total of 15. They are constantly out training or on deployments, it can be hard but also you grow a lot from it. When my husband was in he would be home a year then deploy for 7 months, be home a year then deploy for 7 months etc. Looking back those were some of the hardest times. Both of us grew up so much but there are still things that my DH has flashbacks on that a young man should have never have to of seen. It made him grow up & he has great leadership skills but there is also a lot of BS that comes along with it. Just petty stuff. If I had the option of going through it all again I would but just know it is very difficult. Also depending on his job things are going to be different. There are definitely more cushy jobs than others. As far as pay they don't make a lot at all, especially starting out. If he's married you would get on base housing but they take your BAH pay. If you found a cheap place off base they give you that pay. When I was in I had our daughter & I didn't have to pay a penny. I don't know... So many different things to weight.

Answer

My husband and I were high school sweethearts and I knew the whole time we were dating he was contemplating joining. He is now in the Air Force and he is very pleased with his decision to join.  Military life isn't easy and it's not for everyone, but I understand that it was his life to live not mine. I decided to support every career choice he made until he finally decided the military was the best fit for him. Luckily he got a job that doesn't deploy and we are taken care of pretty well based on the stories I hear from other branches.

A piece of advice: If your guy decides to talk to a recruiter make sure he researches careers in the military before going. If he really wants a certain job he needs to stick to it and not let the recruiter talk him into something he doesn't want to do.

Answer

My husband was military. It's hard. Yes, the benefits were great, the people were awesome, like a big family, but it can suck too. You need to be willing to live without him from time to time. If he is training, deployed... it takes a toll. Have him research some careers, and be involved in the process. Some positions require you to stay put. It's an interesting life, I don't regret it. But it's not for everyone

Answer

First off, they do not make that much money. Unless you stay on base where majority or your utilities/rent is covered. Second it is a wonderful but insanely hard life. It's not for everyone. I LOVED growing up in the military. I've been all over and have friends at all corners of the world. But if you cannot stand not coming first to him, you'll never be ok with it. It's God, Country, Family. I then married into the Army. I find military kids are just different. They tend to have a different outlook on life (not to mention, mostly well behaved) it's a hard decision to make at the end of the day. If he feels like he needs to do it and doesn't, it may cause issues down the road. Best of luck on your decision.

Should I let my husband enlist?

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