postpartum body stuggles :(

Courtney • 21. Married to the love of my life. 💜 Noah AuG 2016 💙💙 TTC #2 with PCOS & Testicular Cancer💚💚
I was 230 before I got pregnant. You couldn't tell I was that heavy. I gained 50 pounds and was 270 when I gave birth. I'm 4 months post partum and 268 😭😭😭 that's not the worse part but I'm covered.
Absolutely covered. In stretch marks. It's horrible. :( I just need to vent because I absolutely hate it. I don't know how to love myself anymore.