rant, pros and cons of ' dad ' opinions welcome
Long. Long. Long. So I'm writing here not only for some outside opinions, but also somewhere to weigh up pros and cons of having my babies father in mine and the babies life,
More than anything I want a happy family where we are all together and work through everything together. The father and I live 3 hours away from each other and I've made the effort to discuss moving and told him I was willing to move. But the conversation was refused and me moving was quickly rejected
He already has a son to another girl ( he's 10 )
And the father had nothing to do with him until he was 8 and then basically took him off his mother and hasn't given him back ( was meant to be for holidays and it is now a court battle )
I left it alone. It's not my business I believe it's between him and the mother and the child
I had a miscarriage two years ago at 20 weeks to the same man and he wasn't there during the pregnancy or the loss. And his response when I told him was ' I told you you couldn't handle it ' For some reason we got back together and I fell pregnant again.
Fast forward I'm 30 weeks pregnant. He has been to my town once for the 20 week scan and left straight after
I have visited him so many times bacisically whenever I can. I have been there 4 times just to tel his family and son. On all occasions he refused to take me to his family home and told me I can't tel his son
I have paid for everything for the pregnancy, doctors and nursery and everything else. I have been in hospital numerous times. One time I was in for a week so missed out on a weeks wage. I begged for help just to cover bills ( I would of returned the money) I was ignored
This man I love but I can see his faults and I know they're wrong but I obviously don't want to be a single mum
On the phone he can give me the sweet talk and seems like he cares. But not once has he asked how I'm going or how the baby is. Whenever I said him photos or videos of my bump I'm lucky to even get a reply.
I just don't know what to do
If he isn't going to be around as my partner and father I'm not sure if I want to share my child with him after what he did with his previous child
I just don't know what to do
Part of me just wants to block him and never speak to him again and tell my baby when she's old enough
But that just seeems so wrong.
There's so much more such as previous drug problems etc but this is just the stuff that's going on now. What do you ladies think.
I mean there's two sides to the story and he can be wonderful at time s but those times are very rare and only ever over the phone.
I need help
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