My ex, let's call him C, and I broke up about six months ago. I broke it off because he was incredibly controlling and emotionally abusive. I was with him for a year and seven or eight months. I absolutely loved him. I gave him everything. I'd have given him the world if I could have.

So C was dealing with a lot of pain. He has an abusive adoptive father and his mother isn't much better. They don't treat him well. He witnessed his best friend dying. So he dealt with a lot. He was also cheated on.

I've since been in a very short term relationship. And I broke it off with this guy too. We weren't compatible.

And partly because, and this is why I'm posting, I still miss C. I know I shouldn't, he treated me horribly. But I don't know how to move on.

I still love him. And I hate it.