What is being in love

Question

I have been in a relationship in the past year and a half.. and I've dealt with a lot of crap with him (cheating included, sexting). I don't know how much longer I can do this for. He treats me so bad. Before we started dating he told me him and his ex had an emotional abusive relationship. I think he's doing the same thing to me.. I told him his words hurt me and he doesn't care. I have low self esteem again when in the beginning he helped me with that. He calls me a "slut" and a "whore" all the time and I'm so devoted to him. I don't know how much more time I can give him so he changes. I'm supportive, loyal, and loving to him.. but he doesn't think more of me than "stupid". I really do miss the old times and that's what I hold on to. So, how do I know when enough is enough? How do I get th strength to walk away? Can he change? One reason why I'm still here is because his family loves me so much and they accept me and they're so great. I don't want to hurt them, and I don't want to stop talking to them. If I don't do what he wants (make food, back rubs) he gets upset. If I DARE to roll my eyes or give him attitude he says I'm "bitchy". Does love really exist like how you all portray it? Does he treat you like you're his world and doesn't wish to hurt you in any way? Is he sweet and devoted? Does that exist? I can't even have guy friends anymore cause to him a simple conversation is "flirting". I have to have friends in secret, I just need someone to talk to.. I know no one will respond, I just needed to get it out. I don't know what to do.
There are some good times.. but they're not as often and I miss him so much. The old him. He wanted to be with me so bad and he was patient and now he's this different person. The good times we do have I cherish them because I know they won't last long. I want to be happy. I'm tired of being down.

Answer

I went through the same thing and the best thing to do is cut it off. I took it for way too long and it never would have worked out. He needs to learn that he can't push people around like that

Answer

He will not change. He is abusive and the "old times" that you're hoping for will not come back except as a way to manipulate you. Abusers always start that way to lure you into to trusting them and then they abuse you. When you try to leave, he may tell you that he will change/do anything but he won't. Don't trust him. You have to leave. You have to remind yourself that if he REALLY loved you he would never have treated you the way he did. That is not love. His actions speak hatred, and that says more than his words ever will. Please leave him soon, take care of yourself.

Answer

I'm so sorry that you have been through so much that warped your idea of love. There are so many different types of love. The love a woman has for her child, the love a puppy has when seeing its owner, the love for reading or drawing, the love for mathematics, friendship, clothes, helping others, the holidays, and finally the love for yourself. Love yourself first dear, and leave that abusive man. Perhaps he wasn't not born an abuser and circumstances have made him this way, but you are only adding to the cycle by staying. Leave in both your heart and relationship.

Answer

Love is not always mutual! Love can exist in all different kind of ways. I understand your feelings and you can't change what's real for you. The universe (or whatever you believe in) will direct you in the direction that's right for you, if you let it. Try just lettting go of the situation and see where it goes

Answer

Love is the MUTUAL (both sides) bond of trust,loyality,and caringness of each other.The sweet guestures and wanting to do a nything you can for that person. But it has to be on both sides. This honestly break my heart! You shouldn't have to feel this way dear.... Let me tell you there is guys that are actually caring and sweet and would never hurt you. My boyfriend of now three years is one of those guys that if he accidently bumps into me he will endlessly say sorry and feel bad.  There are more guys like this out there it just takes time for you to find the perfect match. The man you are with now is not.  He should not be giving you all this greif if he actually loved you. He will not change, not after so long of treating you like this. You need to just look at him (with a few others with you that you trust around) and say I'm sorry but I cant it go on like this. And leave him. Just leave. I know it's hard but you have cut the tie. With his family... Let them know whats going on. If they love you they should understand. I know my boyfriends mother loves me and she even tells me if something happens to let her know, and that she still will love me if me and him broke up. You need to let go.... Find someone who truely deserves your beautiful grace!

Answer

Baby girl this is not love. It will only get worse. He's displaying emotionally abusive and controlling behavior. My SO treats me like royalty. He doesn't just call me his princess he treats me like one too. Any male friend I had has now become our friend. And likewise with his females friends. We care about each other's feelings and we put equal effort into our relationship. He works 4 10 hour shifts back to back so I take care of him and his needs. I cook for him I clean for him. I rub his back and his shoulders. I work 2 jobs on top of being pregnant. Weekends I work 24-32 hours straight. He's always checking on me. Let's me sleep. When it's time for me to get up he waked me up to coffee and lots of hugs and kisses. This is love or an example of love. I've been in a very abusive relationship prior to my current relationship. And I can tell you for a 100% fact you will know true love when you feel it. It's hard to explain but from my experience when you have to question "is this love or not"  it's not. Real love won't leave you questioning it because you will already know. Please get out of the situation you're in. When I left my ex husband losing his family was the hardest part so i get where you're coming from. But you gotta look out for you and your happiness. All he's going is beating you emotionally and holding you back. You're worth seeing much more than that! And you definitely deserve 100% better.

What is being in love

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