I think fat is beautiful... except on me.

⭐️MerFerret⭐️ • Beagle mama • Lupus & Fibro • 🏳️‍🌈 bi
I actually really love the look of "plus size" ladies and not like Amy schumer "fat"-which is not fat at all- but like Kristin and the bigger ladies from buzzfeed (I think a well dressed plus size woman is so beautiful)...
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However, I'm so self conscious and feel so sad looking at myself, and I can recognize similarities in body size (in fact many are bigger than I am). For some reason I can see beautiful plus size women everywhere, but as soon as I see my body all I see is gross gross monsterous and gross.
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Does anyone else feel this way about themselves? I'm 5'10" 220 pounds.
Also it's weird, but my phone is upside down because right side up the light was whiting out the camera.