Rape is any form of sexual act that the male or female did not censent to. (Yes, men can and do get raped. They do not mention it half as often as they should because due to the stigma they don't get jutice as easily.)

Let me give some examples of when rape might occur. (Bare in mind the majority of rape happens to people you know, people you trust. I will be using the term "boyfriend" but realize the attacker can be a girlfriend, cousin, grandparent, friend— there are no exclusions in today's society.)

If at the beginning of the relationship you define your sex life and say you will always give it up because that is the kind of girl you are, then say one day you are tired and can't handle sex that day but he forces you and you go along with it in discomfort and don't want it. 

If you say no and the act continues. This is rape. 

If you change your mind. It is rape. 

If you say I want to stop and they do not stop it is rape. 

If you are unable to say yes, it is rape.

Even if it is BDSM you still need to ask for consent. I partake in BDSM myself and for some reason people on this app think that means you don't ask. Masters/Dominatrix whatever you call it must have permission first.

Now if you have a relationship where concent is defined differently but both partners are willing, that is NOT rape. Each relationship is different, but there are some facts about concent that go without saying which is what I said above. In my personal experience we don't say "Do you concent to [insert sexual act here]?" seconds before we do it. We have an open discussion about what is and is not going to happen in bed. We had that talk long before we had sex. We know what we expect of each other. We follow those rules. So that means we simply say do you want to or are you ready? Before we start. Yes or no. That is a 2 second conversation and that is what concent is. Hope this helps someone who is confused and may all you fellow rape vicitms find justice and peace in this world!