emotions all over the place!!

Steffi • Have 3 amazing children. 2yrs-14yrs . X
So af due today and I got this. I'm 44 now and we weren't actively trying but not preventing. I've had 5 miscarriages so feeling less that positive. But this is a gift. 
Just don't want to go thro the pain of another loss. Statistics are not good at 44!!