my boyfriend really wants kids
So yeah I think I have the most kindest and sweet hearted boyfriend ever.
Anyway I'm 20 and he's 19 and all he does is talk about kids and how he wants to get married to me.
Ive always been sort of a tomboy so I've always like to do things for myself and felt like I didn't need a man for anything, so kidsand definitely marriage have never ever been on my life list.
But Since I've met him I see myself changing and become less of the tough, self centred person I was before. lol I want kids and I really want to marry him one day.
We're in a long distance relationship, he lives 4,000miles and 8hours away from me, we make it work and our relationship is nearly coming up to 2 years strong.
So Here's the thing, he wants right kids now. He works and has his own car but he's still only 19 and lives with in his mothers house, and so do I. Is it mean that I don't want to have kids with him until he becomes independent and moves out of his mums house? Because I still live with my parents also and my mum would never speak to me again if I got "throw my life away" and get pregnant at 20 (her exact words).
But yeah apart from the fact that if I have a child with him I'd be choosing to be with him over my whole family, I'm kinda scared of the thought of bringing a tiny baby into this world because I know I am not the natural nurturing type.
He's great with kids, and he comes from a really big family.
Part of me thinks that he wants to start a family because he never had a dad growing up, his dad died of a heart attack when he was 7 and I can see that really affected him. Hes the type that seeks love and acceptance.
But yeah in his last relationship his ex had a misscarriage so he keeps going on and on about how he doesn't want that to happen to me because things will be different this time.
I can see that he wants a child soon and he says that he is ready for one, but as the relationship is long distance I'd be doing all the work & he has said that When I get pregnant I could come live over there (I wouldn't want to stay living with my parents).
I know I shouldn't be doing this 'for him' and I know having kids won't make a relationship better but he kinda made me promise that id give him one by 2018.
I swear every single phone call we have had in the 365 days of this year, he has brought up babies.
Lol I know my post probably doesn't make sense but I just felt like getting this all off my chest. I know he's still hurting about not having his father in his life but I feel like he still would be a really great dad, but in regards to me; just not at this moment.
Am I making any sense?
Ps: everytime we have sex without a condom and I tell him not to pull out(lol heat of the moment🙊) - when I go to buy a morning after pill he gets angry and tells me not to kill his baby.
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