The Scream Free natural Birth

So throughout my pregnancy I wanted to have an all natural birth, I wanted my body to do what it was designed to without help and I wanted to test my pain tolerance threshold. However being a FTM I was still open to pain meds if it came down to it and I couldn't handle it I would accept them. On dec 18th my water broke, I had a feeling it had but wasn't sure because it wasn't obvious it just felt like I kept randomly peeing myself. I let it be and when I went in for my check up on Tuesday I mentioned this to my doctor, he checked me and confirmed my water had in fact broken and I was 3&1/2cm dialated, I got sent straight to L&D. He said "you get to pass go collect $200 call your people you're having a baby today" I was so nervous and excited and just unsure of what was about to happen. I called my people to grab my things and get there and drove myself to the main hospital. I got admitted around 1130am and was started on pitocin as we concluded that my body hasn't kicked into active labor in two days it would need help to get the ball rolling. The nurses kept asking me if I felt my contractions and I did but didn't feel that they were very strong while on the monitor they were huge. I walked around did lunges and squats, bounced on my ball, and had my birth partner do acupressure to stimulate contractions. As far as pain management, I honestly did not want to be touched, didn't want anyone talking. I just wanted to close my eyes and breathe and put myself in a peaceful place which for me is the beach I would count waves and breathe deep feeling the acoustic cords through my body as the contractions came and went. They were highly convinced that the contractions reading on the monitor were me moving or something and it was hard to tell as my belly was hard all the time anyways. They finally checked me at 7pm (as soon as my doc came on shift, win win for me!) and I was 9cm dialated doc stepped out to check on other patients and had to come back because I was ready to push soon after. I continued my "going away" practice listening to my body and breathed through pushing, after about an hour of pushing I could tell I was too focused on breathing rather than pushing and my body was getting tired. my doctor told me to try holding my breath through pushes and that helped tremendously as it was what I wanted to do anyways but they were telling me not to. Zero screaming. Loads of pain, but it was tolerable, I barely whimpered when I was asked a question I needed to respond to. I was so IN my own body, internalizing everything and retired to something relieving and my body coped with it amazingly. I had a 3rd degree tear, the repair was honestly worse than the actual delivery. I feel so empowered by what my body was able to do, how amazingly it coped. The nurses and doctors were entirely blown away.  I was only in active labor for about 3 hours and pushed for 1&1/2. I had my son at 9:20pm 12.20.16 he weighed 7lbs 11oz and was 19&1/2 inches long. Overall amazed with my entire birthing experience and SO. In love 💙🎄 all I have to say is TRUST your body and stick to your guns. We were MADE to do this.