extremely worried

I'm worried. I'm scared. I want a handsome & healthy baby boy but I know ppl can be so far along in pregnancy and still have a miscarriage or stillborn and I don't think that's something I will be able to deal with or cope with at all. I'm really scared about it and I keep trying to push it to the back of my mind but it's not going anywhere😭 especially since I don't feel pregnant at all it worries me even more. & after going to the hospital and I couldn't breathe I didn't and don't want that to affect my baby at all, any of the medication they gave me. I want my son. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to keep him. I just don't want him taken from me. I keep telling myself he shouldn't be because when I begged, pleaded, & tried for a baby it wasn't my time and that's why I didn't get pregnant. At that time my best friend was telling me that no my baby will come when it's the right time and with that being said I am hoping all goes well. I'm gonna pray on it as best I can. I am already excited. I'm doing everything I can as a mother including being responsible and preparing for the drastic change. I love my son and he isn't even here yet. I can't wait until he does get here. I honestly can't wait.