Why are husbands so dramatic? Like shoot me, please lol

He skips work all last week because he's "sick", known to most people as allergies...

So tomorrow is a work day and surprise surprise guess who is "sick" again. Only this time he has hypothermia. Dude, it's like 75 degrees in our house you do not have hypothermia. You're not going to die.

I slept on the couch with an actual sick child tonight. So i wake up at 315AM with him hollering for me from the bedroom. I go in there to check what's up:

Husband: "I can't stop shaking, somethings wrong with me. I'm dying."

Me: "what do you mean you keep shaking? What do you need me to do?"

Husband: "i need ibuprofen"

Me: (gets meds from bathroom and hands them to him with a water) "what else will help? Do you need to go to the doctor?"

Husband: "i need another blanket. My blue blanket" (because in this dire situation only the magical blue blanky will work)

Me: (searches house for blue blanky, finds it in the dining room. Ytf is it in the dining room? Who cares, i take it to him and cover him up, tuck in his little toes and everything) "is that better?" (Silence for like 30 seconds) "is there something else i need to do?"

Husband: "lay on top of me"

Me: (lays on top of husband and blankies, with biggo prego belly, thinking to self how awkward this is)

Husband: "nevermind, get off. You're pulling my blankets off"

Me: (slides off)(silence...) "what else can i do?"

Husband: "just go back to what you were doing. I made a mistake calling you in here. I need someone who actually cares and can act like this is a serious situation. I'm panicking right now."

Me: "well me panicking too isn't going to help the situation." (I dont usually get panicky in emergency situations anyways, i tend to get super calm and methodical) "I'm not a mind reader so if you need me to do something to help or make you feel better you have to tell me. Are you sure you don't need to go to the doctor?"

Husband: "well what do you think you should do if someone's hypothermic?"

Me: "i dont know, warm them up? But we already did that. What else do you want me to do?"

Husband: "just go away, you're not helping. You don't care."

Me: (goes and sits back on couch, hears husband snoring withing 2 minutes)

Also the whole time we are having our little exchange, he's repeatedly whispering "help me, help me. I'm dying."

Guess who isn't going to work tomorrow...

And before anyone says im heartless or need to take him seriously, this happens everytime anyone else in the house gets a little cough or fever. He's suddenly deathly ill. And i just heard him wake up and turn the tv on. He is now flipping through channels, i think he's going to survive. *shocker!