Kind of Upset, but kind of glad I'm having a c section

Brooke • Momma to a beautiful baby girl & a chunky baby boy!! Married to the greatest man alive! 🐒🐘💕💍
I had my daughter a year ago, via vaginally delivery. It hurt, it was messy, and it was the most memorable experience of my life. But I'm currently 36+3 with my son, who is breech. They did an attempted version 3 days ago to turn him, but it was unsuccessful. The Dr said there's no likely chance he will turn on his own. Well yesterday I thought my water broke, so I came to labor and delivery, to find that my water didn't break, yet I've lost 3cm of amniotic fluid in 2 days (I've had issues with this both pregnanacies due to placenta complications) so I've been on an IV since 12 yesterday afternoon, and am currently waiting for ultrasound to determine if my AFI has gone up any in the past 24 hours. If not they'll perform a c section this morning and take my son. I'm so anxious, I want to deliver naturally so bad. I just don't think my body is ready for a section. But in the other hand, that means, no contractions, no pushing, nothing. So I guess it's a win/win. I'm just freaking myself out I guess.