I don't even know where to begin. At 20 I got pregnant on depo for my first child. Right after I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and HPV. I fought it for 3 years and finally got married bc it wasnt going away even after surgery. I married an asswhole who abused me mentally n physically but I was stuck. I didn't want my child to be without and I want to get in all the things I dreamed of. Didn't happen. After 7 yrs I finally got a clear pap. We had my son. I was high risk with him. I was ok for 3 yrs no cancer cells. I got divorced. Was single for 3 yrs and just found the love of my life. Everything I had prayed for he is. We have been together about 6mon. Last year my cancer returned and were monitoring it. I have told him and I also told him that I want one more child. It was deal breaker. He doesn't have any and is going to be 40 this year. He is ok with one but down the road. I am afraid we don't have years. If these next test produce the result of another surgery my baby making is done. Heart hurts. I am struggling bc we so new and I worry what ev1 will think. I shouldn't I know. But I am scared.

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