Bad day-really just a rant

Last night my fiance and I had a huge fight about how our guest list keeps growing and I have expressed to him how I want a very small wedding as I have social anxiety as he knows.. but yet our original 30 people has now turned to 200 because his mother and him both keep telling everyone we see "oh yeah you defiantly are coming!!" So anyways we had a huge fight and hurtful things were said and I decided to not really call the wedding off.. just push it back until I can figure out what I want to do.

Well today is my 21st birthday. For the last 4 years we have had a tradition of making each other breakfast in bed and waking each other up with kisses and "happy birthdays".

My fiance woke up, made his lunch, watched tv, got on Facebook and remembered it was my birthday, came in and said "happy birthday I'm off to work".

It's only 6am and I'm having the worst birthday I've had yet.

I know it sounds like I'm just being a drama queen and that's okay if it's your opinion. I don't expect anyone to understand my emotions and the way I feel.

It just feels good to be able to tell "someone"

*I honestly really appreciate yall understanding where I'm coming from. Him and his mom are both very out going and social people so when I come along scared of social events they just don't get it. Since they are so social they have tons of friends but it's still not fair to me.. I haven't even met 90% of our guest list. That other 10% is my sister, nieces and nephews, 2 brothers, and my parents. I have been anxious everyday since the guest list has started going up.

Last night my fiance was a real butt and said "well fine I'll just call mom and tell her we are cutting all her friends off the list. Happy?" No, no butthole that doesn't fix it. Now I look like I don't want her friends there. I wish sooommmeeeoonneee could understand what I have to go through with this anxiety.