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Husband has a secret addiction to pain killers....

I just found out my husband has been taking pain killers for the last year of our marriage. I set him up with my doctor for an annual check up, we have been ttc for two months and for the past year he has had a hard time getting getting horny or ejactulating. I have tried everything I possibly can to spice things up. This whole time I was thinking it was me because maybe he is unattractive to me. Well his blood test came back and he has a fatty liver. That's when he confessed to me that for the past year he has been taking opiates, spending nearly 600 a month on his addiction. The doctor tells him that he has to change his diet, no more sugar, needs to exercise and take supplements to try and decrease his triglycerides down.

Here's the thing.... I am so upset with him, I feel like the past year has been a lie, everything is out of control. I just don't know how to handle it. He swears he won't take them anymore but how do I know he is telling me the truth, it's almost like I have lost complete trust in him. To top it off, I told his mother (we are close) she then told me that he had a problem with pills years back when he had surgery and she sent him to rehab in NY for 60 days. I never knew this until recently. I am sad, I want to be there for him and help him in his time of weakness but I also feel betrayed. We are supposed to be best friends, we tell each other everything and now I find this out. Please someone give me advise, I don't want to leave him but I also don't know how to handle this. Am I right for feeling this way? Should I put my feelings aside and do my best to support him? Sometimes I want to crawl into a hole and stay there. What if we have a baby and he can't stay off pills? This seems like a battle that will be a life long battle. I don't know if I am strong enough to help him though this...

I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore. Why would he need to take a pill to deal with his life when I thought it was pretty awesome. Am I not who he needs or wants? Was he needing to be drugged up to deal with me?

I hope one of you ladies can help me understand.

Thank you

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